America speaks: Putin is not like Hitler

“I don’t get it. It says my poll numbers in America are still higher than Obama’s.”

A recent poll by Quinnipiac University demonstrates that most Americans do not think Putin is the second coming of Hitler.

The citizens of the good ol’ States might think of Putin as a rogue, a fiend, a narcissist, or an evil genius of the geopolitical world, but we certainly can’t draw comparisons between Putin’s recent land grab and the “acquisitions” of the Third Reich, the last of which sparked the greatest conflagration in human history. Seems reasonable–after all, even Hillary Clinton backtracked on comparing Putin to a genocidal fascist.

At least Hitler didn’t flex for the cameras like a knockoff protein shake ad.

But let’s take a look at the numbers to see how Americans really feel about the Russian President/former spy/judo master/god awful sex symbol. As expected, 80% of Americans say Putin is not trustworthy, and 80% are also deeply concerned that Russia’s actions could lead to military conflict with the United States. The conclusion I draw is that 20% of those surveyed must be those Russian internet trolls who really, sincerely mean that Putin is, like, a totally chill guy if you get to know him.

 Evidently these are the internet trolls. I’m suddenly extremely interested in responding to internet comments now.

Interestingly, while only 48% of Americans surveyed believed Putin was verifiably mentally stable, 57% said that he had good leadership traits. Apparently mental stability doesn’t fall under the category of “desirable leadership traits” for some folks.

The Quinnipiac survey also revealed that when asked the question about comparing Putin to Hitler, one in five Americans admitted they did not know enough about pre-World War II history to answer. Well, America, it’s time to buck up on our history lessons, because it looks like Vladimir Putin is about to give us the review session of our lives.

Lesson number one: when doing battle with world leaders, it is advisable to have a chiropractor on call at all times.

Photos courtesy of: (Russia Today),,, and

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